a little midnight insanity...

So was feeling a bit creative this beautiful summer evening. And i felt inspired to write. i love those moments where you kind of say screw it, and just write. so heres what i came up with. I like to title it "As the midnight falls"

As the midnight falls, drift dreams float to the subconscious of our mind. Eyes wide shut while our dreams,hopes, desires, and fantasies are like a colorful stream rushing around in that head of ours.---but I want my eyes wide open. Sleep doesn't have shit on me. I don't want to close my eyes for one second. I say, fuck dreams. My dream is right in front of me. My hope is right in front of me. My desire and fantasy is to soak up every moment with you as much as I can. I don't want sleep. Need. maybe? But wanting is so far out of the question. ----I feel your warm breathe on my body. contact with you is like a drug. i crave it. I need it. i don't know how i even sleep without your presence every night. even the glimpse touch of your skin, ingnites me like a passionate flame.---it was said that that love is not being able to sleep because reality is better than a dream. my reality is you. just a kiss under the midnight moon, makes me feel more alive that any person will know. It shudders me with the terrifying reality that I am in love with you. That I want you to be mine. that you completely have my heart. ---But i feel you as the midnight dies. I feel you embrace. I feel your body. i feel your love. ----------And as the midnight dies and enters into the sun, I see your eyes. those eyes that tell me everything. those safe eyes. in that moment we are each others'. and everything else really doesn't matter.

That's it for this thursday evening. Goodnight lovers!!! Xo

S

some hearts...

I love when you hear one of those songs and it totally gets you where you are at. i guess i never knew what love is, what love is about, if i wanted love, i thought i hated love, i know i hated feelings...but then there is sometimes where some hearts get lucky...

I've never been the kind that you'd call lucky

Always stumbling' around in circles

But I must have stumbled into something

Look at me

Am I really alone with you

I wake up feeling like my life's worth living

Can't recall when I last felt that way

Guess it must be all this love you're giving

Never knew never knew it could be like this

But i guess

Some hearts

they just get all the right breaks

some hearts have the stars on their side

some hearts,

they just have it so easy

some hearts get lucky, lucky sometimes

never thought someone like you could love me

you're the last thing my heart expected

who'd have thought i'd ever find somebody

someone who someone who makes me feel like this

well i guess

a new song...

So since I am pretty sure this whole being a famous singer thing, may not TOTALLY work. I decided to work on my songwriting skills, hey, why not? I really actually love writing and think I should do it more. Putting your feelings into writings can be a very powerful thing. When it comes to music, i love a good jam-- a song that makes you wanna shake ya ass, or reminds me you of happy times. those are great. but then there are those songs, every once in awhile, where every single word you can relate to, where you SWEAR that someone penned this song for you and your particular situation. those are the songs that you play over and over and over because they get you. they get to the core of who you are. the get to the real emotions. and thats pretty cool. So as i sit here drinking me tea with a nasty sore throat and possible pink eye-- i share this song with you. goodnight!

(v1) When I dream, thoughts are filled with you

everyone should love like this, its a drug what you do

I smell you on my skin, taste you on my lips

I'm addicted to all the things and the ways you love me

(c) Because now that I've found you, everything makes sense

I'm giving myself to you, no room or reason for regrets

Everything thats said about love it not true

I've found it in my angel; i've found it in you

(v2) I don't wanna close my eyes and lose a moment with you

Fuck livin in a dream, reality in you is now my truty

Every touch, every kiss, the way you say you believe in us

Ignites my soul, lifts me up, shows me I can trust

(B) I wont sleep, if it means one less minute without you

My life is better because of all the things you've done

changed the bad to good and given me true love.

DOIN' IT FOR THE FAME

Yes, this is all what we want...well hell, this is what I want! Even though I would like to say that I want to become a famous singer, whose music touches all his fans, or a actor with an Oscar winning performance that inspires young people...I mean sure, that would be amazing, but let's face it...I Just wanna be famous! I don't really care what that looks like, I WANT THE FAME! At this point, its looking like I'm gonna have to hook-up with some socialite to get my name out there (IM WAITING KIM--there playing MY JAM!) This weekend was my 1st attempt at PROJECT FAME while auditioning for THE X FACTOR! Apparentely, I did not have enough X in my factor! I thought after getting a BIG NO, it would make me give up on the dream of fame. It did for a day, but then came Monday with back to work, back to reality, back to being broke, and I'm like FUCK IT-- I need to be famous. So I'm still hoping it will happen, and wishing on a star.... Here's to my name in lights!!! XO

Shaun AKA "THE FAME!" hahaha!

Feelin' Lucky?

Ahh, well another St. Patrick's Day, gone and went...

There is many reasons this holiday is my absoulte favorite. First of all, I get to celebrate my Irish heritage and pride. 2nd, what other holiday do you get to drink colored beer and drink on a weeknight? Now I'm sure there is a handful of people that drink on a weeknight, I just ain't one of them. Everybody feels lucky (or just drunk, which could feel the same) on this day. Which makes me wonder, what is luck? Is there such thing as luck? Do you work hard to achieve what you want to do or earn? Is God pouring out blessings on your life because of your strong commitments? Are you really a lucky person and all of this shit just comes together. Maybe its a combination of both? I dunno.... I know that in my life right now I feel pretty damn lucky. I am in a job I love. I have amazing people in my life who I love. I am in a great grad school and lovin' it. I feel that pretty awesome Irish luck! Sure I wanna have more of a six pack, be a huge popstar, rich and famous, have a big house, etc. But eh? Maybe you can only take so much luck at at time. Because we you do get lucky, its pretty damn special!

May the pride and luck of Irish be with all you bitches!

XOXO

love, amor, whatever that thingy is...

So its Febuary, also known as the month of Valentine's Day, or single awareness day depending on how you feel! I guess I have always kind of been a cynic, but I sometimes HATE valentine's day...I'm not even one of those bitter people that hate the holiday because you are jealous of all those other stupid people who are in "love", or maybe it is. I mean I don't think I have even truly found love, or at least love where the kind you like think about all the time, the kind that makes every song lyric think of them. Where you are so tired but you still want to stay up late and skype or talk on the phone. Where you don't really understand why or how or what this means, but you know its something. i guess i'm still looking for something that could possibly be found.............i dont know............... :)

I don't have a lot to give you,

Baby it's true

I'm sure other guys could love you better

and that's just the truth.

but you've found me and discovered what's inside

so im taking in and swallowing my pride

but this a song and im singing it to you

cause what im feeling inside, dont know what to do

i just know that ive never felt this way before

like love came rushing in the door

im hanging on to every word you say

with just one whisper, let it take my day

i feel like im safe putting my all in you

i know that my heart and these words have never felt more true

it makes me terrified

it makes me feel alive

i know that being with you

is what my life is now about

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011

Goals for the Year 2011

1.) Be successful in grad school

2.) Find love and have a successful relationship

3.) Have a more healthy lifestyle

4.) BLOG MORE

5.) Live live with no regrets

Here's to 2011..................

Baby, Your A Firework!

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know
You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July'
Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worthMake 'em go, oh As you shoot across the sky...

So I kind of love this song. Its one of the pop songs, that you don't really realize the meaning behind it, and then like out of nowhere, its LIKE WOW, this is kind of my life. After moving back from my job in Northern California, I was like "Where do I go from here?" I didn't know what I was going to do. And where God was going to take me. It was getting a bit frustrated going to job interviews and not getting anything back in return. But then I went into a job interview, and left with a job. And as I was sitting in training to go back to my roots in Behavioral Therapy, our Clinical Director talked about getting your Master's degree to be a Board Certified Behavior Analysist. And it hit me like a ton of bricks, that THIS is what I am suppose to be doing with my life. If that feeling wasn't enough, I applied to a Master's program in ABA therapy and GOT IT! SO now here I am, about to start grad school, in a job and long time/career that I love and ACTUALLY MAKES MONEY, a possible new relationship on the horizion. I've come a long way from the confused and frustrated boy back in Septmeber. Which makes me think that God knew what HE was doing the whole time. So let's keep going on this journey...................